Hey Mother Fuckers and Daddy Rapers! How the fuck y'all doing? Make sure you vote on November 4. And if you have already voted well good for you then. We voted by mail and it made me feel so empowered. We voted HELL NO on all the propositions because I didn't understand any of them and also because Arizona is such a backwards state. I'm not going to tell you who we voted for President but I'll give you a hint: His name rhymes with "Go Sock Yo Mama." That sounds like the name of some Asian dude, except it would be spelled Gosock Yomama. Hmm, it still looks the same. I must be doing something wrong. So, I hope Gosock Yomama wins. If you voted for the guy whose names rhymes with Juan McShame, then I hope your guy loses. Sorry, that's just how I feel. I really shouldn't be getting all political and shit because then I might disenfranchise some of my readers and I certainly don't want to do that. So, I take it all back. I didn't vote and I don't plan to vote and if you are planning to vote for Juan McShame then I encourage you not to vote too. Just stay home all day and eat Doritos and get orange fingers.
Oh, and remember, no selling alcohol on erection day. But that's okay, because I don't drink. But I do get erections. Boing-oing-oing-oing-oing!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
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16 Comments: What the people are saying:
Dude, you are fucked up, but in just the right way. I'm thinking you celebrated your franchisement with a whole lot of Doritos yourself. Am I right??
My CAPTCHA for that comment, by the way, was "uteryn" which as we all know is Illiterate for "uterine". I think Google is mocking you-- are you just gonna sit there and take it??
clearly you are confused, Weith.
you get orange fingers from Cheetos. Doritos fingers are a sort of burnt umber.
Damn I'm glad your back.
i won't hold this one against you, wk:b
~db
Where the hell ya been?
Juan McShame? That's quality work.
My 21st birthday was on Election Day. I voted, but I was also really pissed that I had to wait until 6pm to drink.
Ah yes. The file cabinet of profile pic looks. I love it. Zoolander's got nothin' on you baby.
HAHAHAHA. I love you man.
I don't think I can be your sister anymore. We are friends with John McCain's brother and you're still dissin him?
Since when have you thought that are home state is backwards? Who the hell are you?
ps. your profile pic looks like PeeWee Herman..
pps. your nephew just read your erection comment. I hope you're happy...
So, were you drunk when you wrote this? Just curious. You don't have to answer.
Funny. As usual. Glad that you are back.
Just think, you learned it all from dear old dah. Your eloquence brings tears to my eyes, I think.
Nice. I love this post!
I totally have to have my husband read it too!
Why do you not write more, man? This stuff is brilliant (well, sorta)!
Keith, I can't believe you missed the part of your English lessons when we talked about screwed up as an appropriate substitute for f'd up. nevertheless your writing is hilarious. I laughed a bunch.
WE DID IT buddy. WE FRICKIN' DID IT!!!!
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