Got Lent?

I wanted my New Year’s Resolution to be about blogging more. It’s a wise decision I didn’t commit to this undertaking because as you can see I am off to a damn fine start. Still, I would like to find the time to be a better blogger in terms of output. Ideally, my goal is to blog at least every other day and if at all possible every day. But that would require a lot of work, a lot of work I am not willing to commit to. Not yet anyway. So in the meantime 2-4 blogs a month will have to do.

What would be really cool is if I spent so much time blogging that come the season of Lent I gave up some of my blogging for Lent. But that won’t happen because I don’t give up anything for Lent anymore because I don’t Lent anymore. I haven’t observed Lent since I don’t know when-probably the last time was when I gave up Lent for Lent. For all you non-Catholics, Lent is this weird, wacky time of year when you are expected to give up something that you really like to do. Like berating others or doing the nasty or sucking helium or masturbating or flossing or eating waffles. Lent ends on Easter Sunday when you can finally go back to all your many vices and evil ways. Sinner.

Lent is all about sacrifice. At least that is how I remember it. It starts on Ash Wednesday. Ash Wednesday is (you guessed it!) on Wednesday. This is the day you go to church and have the priest smudge ashes on your forehead in the style of a cross. Symbolism. Subtlety. And then you walk around the rest of the day with ashes on your forehead in the shape of a cross and people stare at your forehead when they talk to you and then you get home and look at yourself in the mirror and think, “Damn, not only am I cool, but I’m also Catholic.” And then you have unprotected sex because Catholics don’t believe in condoms or birth control. Lube is probably okay though. I'll check in the Catholic's Handbook and get back to you.

My Thesis on Tylenol PM

I want all of you to know that I consider you competition. That being said, I have no problem stealing your material, ideas or whatever I read on your blogs, just so long as I get credit for it. But let’s not look on it as stealing; let’s view it as borrowing. Since I am borrowing that implies it will be returned, and yes, I will return it. With love and squalor.

Over at Swirly Girl, she’s all meshugenah you know, and what the hell is meshugenah anyway, and can a woman be meshugenah? But over at her site, in one of her recent posts she was talking about being sick and wondering if you can become addicted to Tylenol PM. In her comments section I said yes, I do believe you can become addicted to Tylenol PM. Here is my reasoning; it is by no means scientific but it belongs to me and therefore it must be trusted.

Every damn time I see the Tylenol PM in the medicine cabinet I want to take one of those pretty, white and blue Geltabs. It’s only a flicker of a thought, faster than the whip of a dick, but the thought is always there, tempting me. The Tylenol PM, not the dick. I see that little Tylenol PM bottle and I want to drop one down my throat. The Tylenol PM, not the dick. But, alas, I do not. In fact, it is rare I take those things. I have to be really, really, really, really sick to put one of those little fuckers in my mouth, and then I don’t even get the chance to enjoy it because I’m all sick and shit. And that my friends is why I believe that Tylenol PM should be free to anyone and everyone who wants one. They should be given out like candy.

Also, currently, I am getting over a cold and I think the damn fool thing is finally in it's death throes. I have been throwing at it mass quantities of over-the-counter meds. You know the kind, the kind that help sniffling, sneezing, anything so you can breath medicine. BUT! I have shied away from the drowsy, sleepy kind, the kind I really like, and instead have opted for the daytime version of these drugs. The boring kind, because I know myself. Once I have a shot of Nyquil I’ll want another, and then another, and then another. You know, it has 25% alcohol in it. Woo-hoo! So, once again, I have to be in a fairly dire condition to take the stuff.